Honestly Ian

You know i care so much about you, no matter how bad i deserve to be treated. I start the msn conversations everyday, and i annoy the crap out of you, You can not tell me i never felt the strong love feeling i felt for you in the past we had. We had a past, if you tell everyone that our past was nothing.. Look back at it, as much as it will hurt, its a sign you should give me another chance. A chance to prove to you that i can be that faithful girlfriend or even, keep your promise as being a bestfriend.
I became close to you because of your downfall, your downfall of loosing your circle of friends, i poured my feelings out to you, you poured your to me. YOU CAN TRUST ME! i want to prove that to you. I never was on your enemies side, nor will i ever be.
I hurt you yes, it's hurting me like hell. And to think religion was an issue before, i was ready to let go, but you grabed onto me, now im stuck on you.
You where the reason why i had forgotten my first love. The tears of joy you had given me each day was nothing compared to any guy had ever given me. I lied cos i am not perfect :( Your true and honesty made me love you more each day. I had asked you E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y. we were together, on why you loved ME so much... The personality? Not the looks... Yeah unless you want to be proven wrong that everyone does have a shallow side >< Okay I'm so sorry okay, I just want you to know that I TRUST YOU WITH ALL MY HEART... it took time for me to get over the first guy, you were the reason why my mind was off HIM... now look at me... how the heck am i going to find a replacment? I dont need a replacment...its just the way you made me feel each day, I knew 3 sides of you. 1. the player who did not give a flying fuck about any girls feelings, 2. To the Guy that changed, because he found happiness and laughed each day and actually felt for a girl and knew he wanted to keep her, felt as if she was the IT girl and comparing her with all your ex's due to she was your IT girl, to 3. The guy who makes everygirl seem like they have a chance with him now,cos your too kind. You smile everyday, acting as if nothing happend... Acting as if i never asked you those questions like "What do you love about me?" "What will you miss about me"
Honestly... I've been replaying our conversations each day in my head... trying to find happiness again :( I miss you so much, Your ex's may miss you, but it's killing me inside that i don't even get that chance they did.. that chance to make it up to you... I miss you so much :( Like honestly i do, we've gone through so much together, and is this the rocky side of the chapter or is it soon to end? since i've litrally told you everything now. I miss you