June 9

IVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE!!!! hahahahah i really havent.. it actually feels good to care and feel their gratitude when you make them feel better... i remember before, if you had a problem, i would ignore it and keep talking about other crap..

i remember .. at the start of our relationship, i remember not caring what happened. thats why i always teased you hehehe.. i never cared if i was going to lose you.. i never cared about what you were doing or how you felt.. i never cared how your day was.. NOW, i care about your every step. i want to make sure that you dont trip and fall... i care about losing you.. dont leave =P or i will cry like a b*tch... hahahahha.. i care about what you are doing... i know you trust me and crap, and i trust you... but i still get scared of what you are doing.. im scared that it will make me angry and turn me back into that selfish non caring bastard i was. i think thats why i always call you.. to make sure you are still my beautiful nice girl that will be bringing smiles to my face and hasnt done anything wrong... i really cant tell you enough how much i love you.. I LOVE YOU!! I REALLY DO!! IT SMELLS LIKE _ _ _.. HAHAHAHA.. you know me too well. BUT I REALLY DO LOVE YOU... i wake up everyday with a smile on my face.. and as scary as it sounds, i even sleep with a smile.. idk if that is coz you make me happy or if its coz you made me jizz just before i slept.. jokes hahahah.. its coz you make me happy. promise.

you know, ive never called a girl every night.. i have never used so much energy on a girl before... but i guess thats coz they werent worth the effort.. unlike you, you make me smile and laugh when i make the effort.. you make every part of my body feel warmth jsut by hearing your voice or reading your messages.. just that simple "mwah" on the phone makes me close me eyes just to hold that image in my head a little bit longer.... you make me feel like im your b*tch... but you know what... idc... i want to be your whipped b*tch... its the best job ever.. i get paid with laughter and smiles.. i get to tell you everything... IM SO PROUD TO BE bee bee'S WHIPPED B*TCH.... CALL ME A PUSSY IDC!!!

I am so grateful that i have you in my life.. you know that no matter what happens i will always be there for you.. if a problem comes up, i will sort it out.. i will make sure that we wake up with a smile again...

I LOVE how you care for your mum and sister no matter what sh*t comes up...i know they can say harsh things and do harsh things, but bee i know you can handle it.. i know you will still help them and continue to be the beeee i know... your sister and you is like a huge inspiration to others... you remind me of me and my little sister when im not on the phone with you ==.... hahhahhaha... and i hear your mum give you crap while im on the phone with you, and you just brush it off like you werent affected.. i remember when she was shouting at you when you were doing the dishes on Bems day, and you said "why are you shouting for?" hahahha.. but when you said it i could hear the love you had for her in your voice.. i heard the care you had for her... i know it seems gay saying i can hear that you love and care for her, but i really did.. it made me want tohug and kiss you more.. i know that you are bottling a lot up inside. i know it seems hard, but at the end, when you prove them all wrong.. you will be the happiest.. you will seriously bring so much joy to their eyes, and when you see their joy, you will feel it 20 times more then they do... i bet you will cry when your mum hugs and kisses you...

i remember the video you made for your mum on her birthday.. you really made her smile aye... hahaha.. becoz of that she knows you love her.. and she uploaded it on fb for others to see. she wants to show everyone how beautiful and lucky she is, coz she has a daughter that has the balls to tell their mum "I LOVE YOU"... ask your friends, when the last time they said "i love you" to their parents.. i bet it was a long time ago.. but with you, you show it to mummy all the time.. not only do you say it, but you show it too!! you cook for her.. clean for her... you seriously show so much love to her... at least when the time for her to leave comes, you know that she knows that you loved her... you dont have to be like the people that only say i love you to them on their funeral... farout!! sorry.. getting a little to into it aye.. well... BEE! do me a favour and tell your mum (and dad if you want) that you love them all the time.. when your mum is angry or sad, just be good to her coz you need to understand she is a single parent, working her ass off to make you happy.. so return the favour and always try to make her happy.

you seriously are one of the best thing that has ever happened in my life!! i love you i love you i love you... MWAH!! GOODMORNING BEE!





WITH YOUUUUUUU THERE BY MY SIDEEEE... YOU MAKE NEGATIVE THINGS TURN INTO POSITIVE THINGS.. I MISS YOU IAN!